Daughter in Waiting Ministry

There were days and nights I tossed and turned when the regrets of my past actions were too great to bear. I contemplated the life of sin I lived against the weight of the promises He gave us. I doubted that God could redeem me. I doubted that God could restore me. I believed I was irredeemable and least of all, forgivable. A God as holy as Him couldn’t possibly forgive an individual as unholy as me. 

It failed me to understand how heartbreaking it was for me to approach The gracious and merciful God and ask, do you really forgive me? It failed me to understand the double-mindedness that rooted this doubt. I didn’t understand how selfish this question was nor did I understand that God doesn’t uphold my standards, but He always upholds His.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ.”
Ephesians 1:7-9 (ESV)

In Christ, we have a spiritual inheritance that we’ve been blessed with. I love having inherited something as precious as God’s spiritual blessings. In Christ, we are redeemed, forgiven, loved, and purposed, to name some. Forgiveness is a spiritual promise God made to all heirs of His kingdom.

Ephesians 1 tells us that God is lavishly gracious to us. He lavishly loves us. He lavishly forgave us. We are lavished in God’s forgiveness. I looked up the meaning of this word. Lavish is used to translate the Greek word, perisseúō. Perisseúō means to be in excess of quantity or quality of a thing. It means to be abundant and to have more than enough to spare for something. In other words, God is forgiven towards us abundantly – more than we can spare.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
John 10:10 (NKJV)

God does not wish for us to carry on our shoulders the sins of our past as we hold onto regret, shame, or guilt. He wants us to reach out and accept the abundance He offers us. In Christ, we are emboldened by His grace to live out the free and overflowing life He’s offered us. God is merciful and abounding in steadfast love (Exodus 34:6). It is God who upholds His standard of forgiveness, not us. It doesn’t matter what we feel or think, it is His standard to uphold, and the God we serve keeps all of His promises.

“Not one word of all the good promises that the LORD had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass.”
Joshua 21:45 (ESV)

In that sunken place of unforgiveness, my fluctuating emotions and circumstances questioned His character. A character that’s been present – on record – for thousands of years and – off record – for eternity. Who was I, to accept the work He did on the cross, yet turn around and shorten His hand by rejecting the forgiveness He lavishly poured onto me? Who was I to limit His abundant work in my life out of sheer doubt. A doubt rooted in my own assumptions instead of fixing my eyes on His character. Who was I to limit the overflowing grace He gave me?

When we doubt God’s forgiveness over our lives, we shorten His hand. And to reflect this back on us, He asks us this question, is my hand shortened? You tell Him, is His hand shortened (Isaiah 59:1)? 

When we’re in a place of unforgiveness towards our previous life of sin, we need to remember, it is not up to us to determine if God can and will forgive us. He lavishes us in forgiveness the second we receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior. He does not hold onto His good gifts for us with closed hands, waiting for us to earn them, as if we can ever be good enough to. It is not up to us to keep God’s promises over our lives. Whether or not we feel or think He hasn’t forgiven us, that doesn’t change the fact that He has. 

Does God really forgive me? Yes, we are lavishly forgiven through the precious blood of Jesus, because God has promised it.

“God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?
Numbers 23:19 (NKJV)

Our doubts and the lies from the evil one can dissuade us of this truth. The truth is, when we’re sons and daughters of God, we are lavished in His grace and mercy. This doesn’t mean we keep on sinning because we’re forgiven (Romans 6:1-2, Proverbs). But, it does mean that we live this life in the abundance of the spiritual blessings God pours on us daily. God is a generous God, willing and more than able.  

God’s heart of forgiveness is reflected all throughout the bible, but I especially love to see it exemplified in Jesus.  The story below in the book of John does a great job of highlighting God’s heart of forgiveness towards sin when we come to Him with a repentant heart.

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The Woman Caught in Adultery
John 8:1-11

The religious leaders in the text intended to condemn a woman caught in adultery. They brought her to Jesus and were eager to cast their stones of judgment towards her life of sin. They were also looking to test Jesus to condemn this woman and to not violate the law. Jesus tested them back and asked if any of them were without sin. If yes, they were given permission to throw their stones at her. 

As expected, none were without sin, and they left the woman and Jesus alone, one by one. 

Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”
John 8:10-11 (ESV)

Like God told this woman caught in adultery, I find that He tells the same to us today. Neither does He condemn us. We must accept His offering of forgiveness and stop wrestling with our own scribes and Pharisees, our own double-mindedness, and the lies from the lies from the evil one.  We are forgiven. We are lavished in God’s forgiveness, overflowing with His love, grace, and mercy, and fully equipped to walk out the abundant lives He’s called us to. 

Sincerely,

Anne